The Family Fixation

Family is necessarily the focus of life for every good and decent person in the world. Family is really all that matters, more important than brand name shoes, fancy cars, expensive dinners or diamond rings. Family is supposed to be the reason we work ridiculous hours and put up with absurd amounts of stress, all while crying out for more quality time with our family. It is good and right to be fixated on family.

But it doesn’t work out so well for all of us, does it? Not everyone gets to have a family that cares, nurtures and protects. There are people who do not have families at all. They are orphaned, given up for adoption, abandoned. There are people who are alone in the world, and who find the incessant babble about mother’s day brunch, and father daughter dances or family reunions to be strange, unfamiliar, unknowable occasions. Others have the kind of families they could easily do without; drug addicted fathers that react violently to the slightest error, co-dependent mothers who ignore their children to cater to their vicious husbands, vicious uncles who do unspeakable things. It is so lonely to have a mother and father that cannot be called for help, for advice, for comfort.

Thank god we get to make our own families. We choose a partner with which we make children who we can raise and love on our own. We can leave behind the wrongs that happened to us. We can learn from our experience all the things not to do, sometimes more than learning what should be done. We can imagine all the things we wanted, and want, and put those things in place for the people we love. Fixate on the family. Just make it a good one.


3 thoughts on “The Family Fixation

  1. There are also some people like me who were neither orphaned nor given for adoptions. Because the psychopaths and narcissists chose to keep them and raise them as potential victims for life. I agree with your post, just adding an extra category.
    I am no contact with my extended family but i intend to make a very good family that will be free of abuse. And you are right. I should fixate on that.


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