There is no one in this world, no matter how rich, how powerful, how prestigious, who does not have regrets. Every one has made mistakes, done things they should not have or not done things that should have been done. This simple fact leads to one of the easiest ways to spot a drug addict or alcoholics.
If you listen to a drug addict, you realize quickly that they can do no wrong, that they are blameless in all things. If you’ve ever argued with an alcoholic, you know how quickly you get exhausted by their endless circling. An addict will make great leaps and bounds to avoid taking responsibility for even the tiniest thing. Instead, these people will say things like, “that’s not how it happened,” or they will turn the conversation around to describe all the faults and flaws of the person they are talking with.
Normal, healthy individuals, know they have made mistakes and admit them. We might bring up our own mistakes as we criticize someone else to ensure them our criticism is heartfelt. In an argument, we might admit our mistakes and apologize and be frustrated that someone hasn’t let go yet. But we know we’re done wrong and don’t deny it. An addict is wholly different because an addict’s life is based completely on lies. An addict has to lie everyday in order to get money for his habit. An addict has to lie to cover up his habit, to explain where he has been or why he looks so tired. An addict will tell stories of hardship and heartache that require twenty dollars or more to help, and a great deal of misfortune falls on addicts because the addiction is demanding. So the addict builds up quite a wealth of lies, an existence that is totally false, dishonest and disloyal. They have built a house of cards. Any admission of wrongdoing, no matter how small or how long ago, will bring that house of cards down, so all mistakes are wiped from memory. Nonexistent.
I don’t have a relationship with my mom, but I run into her all the time. She hasn’t accepted my decision to walk away from our relationship, and will demand I answer for it. I know she hasn’t changed from when I was a kid, I tell her. I know she is the same person. She inevitably asks me what she did that was so bad. Well, I say, there was the lying and the stealing and the drugs. She admits to none of it. She apologizes for nothing. Instead she screams and yells, she brings up every bad thing I’ve ever done and every good thing she did that I didn’t mention. My mom still “borrows” money from relatives on a daily basis. If she admits to any wrongdoing, she is on a slippery slope to losing her source.
So if you ever meet someone who can always think of a reason or explanation why everything goes wrong but it never involves their own choices, beware of that person. There is a reason they cannot admit what every knows, that they are humans capable of bad decisions. Their bad decisions will outweigh every healthy person. If you find yourself listening to this kind of person, run, run away, before they suck you in.